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about
About the song: I got gnarly obsessed with the History of Rome podcast there for a while and there was this story of this Gothic general named Alaric who was in the employ of the Roman army and really wanted to be like Stilicho, who was another Gothic general in the Roman army who had risen to gnarly heights and was literally the overseer of one of the two child emperors at the time but anyway back to Alaric: Alaric really wanted to climb the ranks because he was better than all these other Roman generals that were advancing but Rome was super racist at the time toward the Goths because the Goths were migrants, you understand–they were pushed into Rome because the fucking HUNS were plowing in from the East and seriously fucking with all the gothic tribes, and so, to get away from the terrible Huns, all the goths descended on Rome and were like, "Dudes, can we be friends now? I know we raided and terrorized you for a buncha years and you all think we're lesser human but let's be buds and can you protect us because we don't want to die by the motherfucking insane fucking HUNS." And so all the goths were incorporated into Roman life and Rome was pumped because that meant they could use all these huge muscular nomadic Goths in their armies, and so that's what brings us to Alaric. But then check this: at some point the racism against the Goths got so extreme that there was a royal decree that was like, "Hey, all romans: go ahead and kill all the Gothic women and children, fuck 'em." And then all the Gothic soldiers looked at each other like, "What the fuck did that guy just say?" And then they LEFT. DUH. OF COURSE THEY LEFT YOU JUST GAVE THE ORDER TO MURDER THEIR CHILDREN AND WIVES BACK HOME. So all the Gothic soldiers of the Roman army got the shit out of the army and raced across the Danube back into the gothic frontier and then they didn't know what to do and they needed a leader and Alaric made his way over to them and became their leader, shouting "Fuck those Romans, we're just trying to live," and then he and his troops fucking SACKED ROME. Because Rome was in disarray at the time and there were two (maybe three, I forget, I'm always ripped when I listen to those episodes) emperors at the time who were fighting each other and so there was so much in-fighting that nobody could muster enough of a force to really stop Alaric and so he fucking SACKED ROME. He was the first person to be able to do that since, like, the beginning of Rome. Then he had it in his head that he would go down to Alexandria where Rome's grain supply was and really take control of everything. But he died on the way. But dude nobody could've stopped him at the time. He very well could have made a run at overcoming the emperors, but of course who knows? He almost had it.
lyrics
ALARIC, YOU ALMOST HAD IT
Stilicho's head tumbled to the floor
We got scared and started looking for somebody to call
They were supposed to be the civil ones
Hail the holy sons of eternity
Hail the holy sons of eternity
Alaric,
You were are only hope there for a minute
Alaric,
You almost had it
We are at your pleasure (this time)
Guess we're in this together
We don't have the leisure
It's now or never
Alaric, please give us asylum
Alaric,
You were are only hope there for a minute
Alaric,
You almost had it
We are at your pleasure (this time)
We don't have the leisure
Alaric, please give us asylum
They were after us
They were after us
You proved it
You had control
But then you just had to go and let the fever take you away
The writing was on the wall
(We could have had it all)
Hail the holy sons of eternity
Is this the culmination of history?
Alaric,
You were are only hope there for a minute
Alaric,
You almost had it
